How to Confront Your Family Member Suffering From Addiction

If you have a family member who is suffering from addiction, then the idea of confrontation may be intimidating, especially if you worry that your loved one may retaliate or lash out after being confronted. However, ignoring the problem will not make it go away and it is impossible for your family member to seek help unless they have been confronted with the problem. It may very well be that your loved one hasn’t noticed the changes in their behavior that you have. In either case, a well-managed confrontation is the first step towards letting your loved one knows that you have noticed the changes in their behavior and life due to their addiction.

If you are planning on speaking to a family member that is suffering from addiction, there are a few things you should keep in mind in order to make sure that the conversation is as productive as possible. The following are some essential dos-and-donts to keep in mind during this conversation.

Don’t: Confront your family member while they (or you) are under the influence of any substance

Do not bring up the conversation when you or your family member is drunk or under the influence of drugs or any other substance. People typically react poorly when they are under the influence of a substance like alcohol or drugs and the conversation cannot be productive while either person is inebriated.

Do: Set aside time to talk with them alone

Make sure that you set aside a specific time when you and your family member can talk together privately. The conversation is meant to be a productive dialogue, not an ambush, so asking your family member for some time to talk alone is the best way to achieve an uninterrupted conversation.

Don’t: Lecture, accuse or badger your family member

It is very easy for people being confronted with an addiction to feel attacked. You can help prevent this by avoiding any dialogue or tones that sound as if you are lecturing them, accusing them or otherwise badging them. Take on a warm, caring tone that emphasizes your concerns rather than lecturing them for their behavior.

Do: List the behaviors you have noticed

This conversation is the time to bring up the specific behaviors you have noticed with your family member that have you concerned. In as neutral a manner as possible, list the behaviors you have noticed that have you worried, such as how they act when they are inebriated, things they said or did while under the influence, or evidence you noticed which points to an addiction.

Conclusion

Confronting a family member who is suffering from addiction is not an easy task, even when you are prepared. There is always the risk that they may deny everything or become defensive or even aggressive; however, if you keep the above factors in mind, you can increase the chances that your confrontation will be productive rather than fruitless or at worst, antagonizing.